Wednesday, April 24, 2013

What the Books Don't Tell You...

Future mommies to be, brace yourself because I am about to get real. Here is my untold truth on pregnancy and the aftermath:

So, pregnancy for me from July until December was AWESOME. No problems and I was anxiously wanting my belly to get big so people could actually tell I was pregnant. I remember the first time my stomach looked a little pregnant and Sean and I were shopping. The clerk asked me if I was going to a baby shower and I said no, this is for our son. And her response was not the immediate squealed, excitement I was expecting. No, she said, "oh". Like one of those "oh" responses you get as if someone passed gas in front of you and it stunk real bad. I was totally PISSED. I talked Sean's ear off about this particular lady so horribly bad on the car ride home.

Everything changed for me the day of our anniversary. I went for a pregnancy massage my husband booked for me and afterwards I felt completely rejuvenated. I could actually stand to walk because ladies at one point in pregnancy your back is going to kill you. Your back will hurt when you sleep, use the restroom, walk, sit, up, down, left and right. Anyway, so massage. Yes, I was feeling fantastic. I came home and I wanted to shop. So my wonderful husband took me to Home Goods because I wanted to buy a bunch of stuff for our house. 15 minutes there and I all of a sudden did not feel right at all, so I told my husband let's pay. Things then got worst. I actually hunched over an empty cash register. I then told Sean let's go, but unbeknownst to me he did not hear me say that and was so confused as to why i was walking towards the door. He actually thought I was going to bulldoze my way to a register and demand to pay at that moment. Right at the end of the lines of cash registers I fainted and fell to the ground. I remember thinking, my goodness I don't care about me. Please God take care of our son. If this is my last moment on Earth, please just save my son. My husband immediately picked me up and I called my mom and next thing I knew we were at my doctor's office.

I cried hysterically to my doctor because I just wanted my son to be okay. She kept letting me hear my son's heartbeat to ensure me that he is okay. We thought at that moment that maybe it was because I did not have enough water after my massage. So, ladies. Please drink lots of water before and after your massage. Yes, I know you will be going to the restroom 10 times, but it is better to be safe. After a few more fainty scares I called the doctor again and found myself needing to now to go to a cardiologist. My thoughts? WTF! Excuse my language, but that was my thought. More hysterical crying. Not for me though, it was just for the safety of my son. After numerous tests it turned out I was anemic. Something that could be managed with a change in diet and prescribed iron pills. However, that was when my outlook on pregnancy changed.

I went from losing over 10 lbs and then struggling to put on weight for 5 months of my pregnancy to good lord almighty, I blew up. Yes, i did have the ultrasound tech constantly check that there was only ONE baby. With the weight gain came more aches and pain like I have never felt before. Lightning shock. Pregnant ladies, you know what I am talking about. Boy, it is a shock alright. A shock that at times would make me jump out my seat or stop me in my tracks. There were days that I literally could not walk. I had the joy of carrying my son super low.

Eventually, my doctor put me on bed rest. Rest was definitely something I was lacking. I mean I probably only slept two good hours a night. I constantly had to pee and could never get comfortable and wanted to absolutely slap my husband as he slept so peacefully. What people do not tell you about bed rest is that it is BORING and makes you more crazy and anxious for your baby's arrival. However, my house had never looked so good. So it was a win for my house and my husband and a loss for me. Just when I thought I was going to be released from bed rest, I found myself in the hospital due to high blood pressure and lack of baby movement. That was when the pregnancy really turned around. I was already down in the dumps because I was told two weeks prior that i was predicted to have a 10 lb baby and now my blood pressure is high? What is going on? At this moment i was actually feeling GREAT. Even my doctor was so happy that I was finally happy.

Thanks to a wonderful father, he came to Houston to stay with me during my five week bed rest. Things changed on April 3rd. My dad cooked this AWESOME spaghetti and when 5:30 hit I had this urgency to eat as much food as I could for some reason. I just felt like something was going to happen and I knew that if I went into labor that all I could have was ice. I ate another bowl of spaghetti and really wanted this cherry danish, but could not fit anything else in my stomach. All of a sudden the contractions started. You would think I would be ecstatic since I was huge and all I was allowed to do was get up to go the restroom and get something to eat. Oh, no. Not this chick. I was pissed because I was not going to be able to eat this lovely cherry danish that looked SO GOOD!  After timing my contractions for two hours I crept quietly to my closet to call my doctor and she told me to come on in. I woke up Sean and his reaction:"did your water break?" Me: "No, but I am in pain so get your ass up. I know you are going to be pissed if we go to the hospital again and are sent home and you have to go to work, but we are going." (BTW, this would have been my THIRD time going to the hospital and I had just told my doctor the day before that if I go to the hospital again I will not be doing the walk of shame because I am staying. I don't care what they say, I am staying at the hospital). So Sean with no sense of urgency got up and moved like a turtle. I began making my way out of the bathroom and all of a sudden liquid was running down my leg. My reaction? "OMG, my water just broke or I just peed on myself." Words i would repeat to my Sean, my dad, my mom and some close friends of mine that I had texted throughout my whole labor.

I get to the hospital and still having contractions. Since I thought my water broke she did a water break test. I do not know the official name for it, but that is basically what it is. What did she tell me? Negative. My reaction? "So you are telling me I peed on myself? Wait, are you going to make me leave?" Remember, I was not leaving! She told me the doctor was going to keep me for further observation until 6 and if nothing happened I would go home. Oh, hell no are my internal thoughts. The nurse left the room and I told Sean that this sucked. It sucked to be here and I was just going to go home. God must have been listening to me and he must have known how much I needed this baby out of me because my water broke at 3:15. It took me a while to say something because I wanted to make sure that this water I kept feeling going down my legs was actually happening and not in my dreams. I also wanted to be sure that I was not peeing on myself again. So it took a while for me to actually tell Sean and my parents that I think there is liquid coming out of me. The nurse came in and she confirmed. I had the biggest smile on my face not because our son was coming. Nope, because I was going to STAY AT THE HOSPITAL THIS TIME! YES!!!!

When my doctor finally arrived at 8:30 she was so happy to see that I was smiling. She actually told me, "OH my goodness! You are smiling!" That smile quickly went to i actually wanted to slap the crap out of my doctor when she broke my water. IT HURT...SO BAD! The wonders of everyone looking at me in amazement that I was smiling quickly went to an, "AHA" after they saw my face when she broke the rest of my water. I was now finally in active labor. You would think I would SCREAM for an epidural at this point because I now was having real and painful contractions, but no I instead cried hysterically as my doctor, nurse and mom were all saying, "epidural? epidural? epidural?" Finally, I feel they got sick of looking at my tears and hearing me say no and ordered it anyways. You want to know why I didn't ask for the epidural at that point? Well, I had been watching the Baby Story every morning these past five weeks and I thought you had to wait until the very last moment to get the epidural because I personally did not want to feel my baby coming out of me when I began pushing because I just knew that it would be agonizing pain. So, I was determined to last as long as possible so that I could the epidural at the last possible minute so I wouldnt' feel a thing. Well, ladies do not follow my method. Turns out A Baby Story is highly edited. Who would have thought? (Yes, I know I sound like an idiot) Get the epidural as soon as you feel pain. In fact, if I ever get pregnant again I would get the epidural before my doctor had to break my water. The thing about epidural is they give you this button and you press it whenever it starts waring off and you can't take the pain. So in other words, there will be enough epidural to last you!

I actually labored quite fast. At 10:30 I was 7 cm and by 2:00 I was fully dilated. The doctor wanted me to labor longer so that I could get the baby down lower. Then all of a sudden things changed. I was starting to shiver really bad and was on the verge of a fever. All I kept hearing everyone say was we need to get your temperature under control otherwise your baby will have to go the NICU. I began pushing when Dylan became tachycardia. There was urgency I pushed correctly so I could get the baby out because we couldn't get my temp to go down. An hour later my baby was in my arms.

Now, after all the oohs and aahs from my lovely family that was there for the labor. It was time for me, Sean and Dylan to go to the postpartum room. I was thinking, yay I am finally going to get some rest. Um, WRONG. Just to let you know, fifty gillion nurses come in and check on you every hour the first night. Then every two hours Dylan's nurses came in to check on him. The next night wasn't that bad, but still nurses come in and check on you and your baby constantly. My word of advice? Send your baby to the nursery for a few hours and sleep. I tried to be super mom and leave the baby in with me until I was breaking down because I was so tired.

When you get home embrace the help. GO TO SLEEP!  i did not do this for days and I wish I would have just went to sleep. I know you are going to have this urge to be with your baby, but it is best to just get some rest. Your body has been through A LOT. Another thing I am dealing with is the weight. I have lost a little over half of the weight so far. However, I decided to go shopping one week post-partum. Let me tell you. It is a big eye opener the first time you go shopping. I found myself in a size I had not worn before. It was quite depressing. Just remember, your body has been through a lot and it took 9 months for you to gain the weight and it is going to take longer than A WEEK to get the weight off.

I titled this post, what the books don't tell you and it turned into my labor story. I did not get all real as I thought because the reason the books don't tell you EVERYTHING is because whenever you hold your baby in your arms the first time. It does not matter! The trips to the restroom, the back pain, the hormones, the urge of wanting to do everything you can to stay healthy for your baby goes out the door the moment you look into your child's eyes the first time. I would do it all over again because of that moment.

So, if you want to know what the books don't tell you that I did not really get into, leave a comment. I'll be totally real with you, but will always end my comment with,  "it will be all worth it and more in the end, but I feel your pain and will pray for you at this moment because you are totally entitled to sulk in this moment."


Oh, Baby!

So, I have a baby! I still cannot believe that I am a mother. I don't know if every woman feels this way, but I truly never thought it would actually happen. Not that I did not want it to happen. I just did not know if it was actually going to be in the cards for me. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with a neurological movement disorder called Dystonia. Many have never heard of it. It is in the same family as Parkinson's Disease and tics. Basically, I have involuntary muscle movements. However, I have them all over my body. When it gets really bad it looks like I am trying to do a back flip except I do not complete the flip I just get stuck with the back part of the flip and then bounce back to an upright position.

I remember when i was 17 and I talked with a neurologist in San Antonio. My parents had just left the room because the doctor wanted to ask me questions. He opened up with, "so do you have any questions you want to ask me?" My immediate question was about pregnancy. I immediately told him I am not saying that I am trying to get pregnant today, but I want to know if I will be able to have babies. Now reflecting back on that moment I do not see how I did not think motherhood would be in my cards. I was already fighting for it at 17. He told me that it is up in the air. Dystonia will not affect my ability to get pregnant, but the hormones could either set me off in a really bad attack episode or I could have a fantastic pregnancy. This thought has always scared me to death. I would never want to do anything to hurt my child before he/she entered the world. However, I also know that I am a strong woman who leans and depends on God and I know that God wouldn't put anything in my life that I could not handle.

Lord and behold, I met the man of my dreams. Something else I thought would never happen to me. I never thought in a million years that I would actually meet someone that could also handle my disorder. By handling i mean being able to wipe my tears, hold my hand and calm me down. Another safety net. Someone I was not afraid to have my attacks in front of because I would not be judged, but instead comforted because that is all I really need during my episodes. Comfort to know that its going to be okay so that I do not succumb to it. On December 31, 2011, I married him in front of our closest friends and family. It was the absolute best day, EVER!

7 months later...I AM PREGNANT! It was a huge shock. We knew we wanted children. In fact, not even a year into our relationship we already knew the names of our future son and daughter. We also knew when we moved to Houston in 2009 what year we would actually start trying to have children. Summer 2012 was going to be it. Early July, I took a pregnancy test and there was a faint pink line. I was so unbelievably happy. Like it actually worked. Big shocker. Two days later I had one of the biggest scares of my life. I found myself in my doctor's office taking test after test because I did not understand how I could have this positive pregnancy test and then BAM, no baby anymore. I was completely devastated and crushed. I wanted a baby so bad and did not understand how God would get my hopes up like that. We decided that we would stop trying until next summer. Another complete devastation. I was still unsure if I could wait that long, but I knew that all I could do was leave it in God's hands. It was a Sunday night that Sean and I prayed and we did just that. Left it in God's hands. We trusted and believed that he knew what was going to be the right path and we were going to follow in God's plan.

Monday morning I was feeling so happy. I went from tears on Sunday night to nothing but smiles the next day. It was so weird. I decided to take a pregnancy test because I had fifty gillion of them anyway and why not take one, right? Boy, did I get the surprise of my life. It was positive. My immediate thought? WTH! No way! No FREAKING way! So I took another test and another test. ALL POSITIVE. I actually wrapped the tests so I could show my friend Jackie because I was in such disbelief. I went home later that day to take four more tests and they were all positive.

So, how was I going to tell Sean? Would I make some beautiful card? Would I buy some baby shoe to show him? Oh, no! I hopped in his car because we were going to go to the grocery store and I showed him my pregnancy test. All I said was I have something to tell you...We are pregnant! His response...there's God's sign right there. We are supposed to be parents and right now.

Now we have this absolutely beautiful baby boy named Dylan. Like every mother says, I understand love in a whole different way. I love our son so much and have this newfound love for my husband as well. We are parents. We have a child. We are now three. It is so wonderful to say that.

So, why type up this long blog post? Well, we all have a story. This journey to parenthood and this is mine. I would not change anything about it. There is a reason why God wrote our story like this and I am so proud of it. For all the tears of pain and tears of joy I would not change a thing. We are so blessed and continue to walk in God's path.

Mothers, fathers. Take a moment and reflect back on your journey to becoming a parent. Take out your photos. Go spend time with your child(ren) and remember that day you saw that positive pregnancy test. Never forget that moment. Take time to reflect on that. If that does not bring some joy on this Wednesday I do not know what will.


Sunday, April 3, 2011

Yummy...Shrimp Enchilada Bake

So, Sean and I woke up on Sunday morning thinking only about what we would eat for dinner. The last time my parents came to visit my dad brought up some shrimp from his shrimp pimp (that is the guy's business name) from back home. We usually make shrimp pasta with vodka sauce or shrimp scampi with the shrimp, but this time I knew I DEFINITELY did not want pasta! I searched for different recipes because I like to combine different recipes together to create my own, but this time I found a recipe that was perfect already. 

This recipe is jam packed full of flavor and healthy as well!!!! I did add about 2 tbsps of chives and 3/4 of a bundle of green onions to the sauce mixture then used the rest as garnish when the enchilada bake was done. I also garnished with some salsa on top. The bake will be enough for at least 8 servings if not 10, but with Sean it is big enough to feed his BIG appetite and MORE!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Free Canvas Photo!!

Head on over to Canvas People and grab your free canvas print. I used the promotion for one of me and Sean's engagement pictures. All you pay is 14.95 for shipping and handling.

Big thanks to

The Girl Creative

Why buy, when you can make it yourself?

dm designs

What a cute clock idea. Cannot wait to make one of my own!

You can either buy or make this lovely piece of art.


Head on over to Preppy Girl at the Farm. There is a Pink Monogram Giveaway! This is a great way to score something nice for a dinner party perhaps.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Engagement Pictures

Check out our newest engagement photos! I LOVED our last photographer, Laura Swinson of Studio Bloom Photography.